Making Polyamory unremarkable

Polyamory South Africa is a loose community of South Africans who are practicing or who are interested in polyamory.

Polyamory is not a sexual orientation. It is a way to structure

Polyamory embraces LGBTQI+ identities in that many queer people
feel freer than straight people to re-imagine their relationships the way
they want to.

Guiding Principles


We don't have the right to control our partners' body, time or space. Our partners are free to have relationships with whomever they want. We have the right to know about those relationships so that we know what kind of relationship we are in

Manage our own insecurities

Aka "own your own shit." When our relationships awake insecurities in us, it is an invitation to work on ourselves. We don't get to tell other people what to do, just because we feel insecure.

Informed consent

People need to know what kind of relationship they're getting into. Don't spring surprises on people.

Polyamory is about meaningful relationships

If you find it hard to have only one partner but you want serious relationships with more than one person, polyamory may be for you.

If you meet somebody and think: I love this person and I still love my existing partner — then polyamory may be for you.

If you prefer one committed relationship plus casual relationships on the side, that’s perfectly legitimate! Try swinging, hiring sex workers, or having an open relationship where you have a friend-with-benefits that your partner knows about.

There's no script

Polyamory is a deeply fulfilling way of relating, with many benefits to the people in the relationships themselves, or to their other partners and even their children.

There’s no one right way to do any relationship, but there are plenty of wrong ways.

From our blog

hammer, books, law
Submit your comments on the Marriage Act Green Paper

We would like to invite you to make submissions to the government about the green paper.   SA Government is thinking of legalizing polyamory Here’s what we’re doing. If you’d like to help, that would be great! The SA Government has proposed legalizing polygamy for all. On the Department of...

Read More
How do you start a healthy polyamorous relationship?

Where do you even start? This conversation, more than most others, has the potential to damage or even destroy your existing relationship. 1. Know why you want to explore ethical non – monogamy. This means you need to be really honest about your own motivations. If your real motivation is...

Read More
How to get polyamory wrong

There’s no one right way to do any relationship, but there are plenty of wrong ways. And the way polyamorous relationships begin sometimes dooms them from the start. Here are some common reasons that people are attracted to polyamory: 💙 We want a “third” 💙 I think Polyamory will be...

Read More
People working at laptops and a whiteboard
What polyamory can teach us about the workplace

Workplaces, like the rest of our lives, are full of relationships. Polyamory is a way of structuring multiple committed relationships. Ideally, we have many committed relationship at work as well. And sometimes the relationship or goals come into conflict with each other. Healthy polyamory and the healthy workplace relationships both...

Read More
When the parents are polyamorous, do the children suffer?

When people meet somebody in a polyamorous relationship, one of their first questions is “what about the kids?” This is dressed up as concern, but the people asking the question think that children will automatically be traumatized if their parents are open about having more than one partner — even...

Read More
Polyamory South Africa on Whisper (social network)

There is a Polyamory South Africa Whisper group! Click Here for the link: Whisper is A completely anonymous social network. No names. And you can’t even follow anybody! It’s super-local so you get to see whispers from people In a 15-40km radius. Every time you are in a different place, your...

Read More

Subscribe for updates

Subscribe and get the latest Polyamory news and updates