Making Polyamory unremarkable
Polyamory South Africa is a loose community of South Africans who are practicing or who are interested in polyamory.
Polyamory is not a sexual orientation. It is a way to structure
relationships.
Polyamory embraces LGBTQI+ identities in that many queer people
feel freer than straight people to re-imagine their relationships the way
they want to.
Guiding Principles
Autonomy
We don't have the right to control our partners' body, time or space. Our partners are free to have relationships with whomever they want. We have the right to know about those relationships so that we know what kind of relationship we are in
Manage our own insecurities
Aka "own your own shit." When our relationships awake insecurities in us, it is an invitation to work on ourselves. We don't get to tell other people what to do, just because we feel insecure.
Informed consent
People need to know what kind of relationship they're getting into. Don't spring surprises on people.
Polyamory is about meaningful relationships
If you find it hard to have only one partner but you want serious relationships with more than one person, polyamory may be for you.
If you meet somebody and think: I love this person and I still love my existing partner — then polyamory may be for you.
If you prefer one committed relationship plus casual relationships on the side, that’s perfectly legitimate! Try swinging, hiring sex workers, or having an open relationship where you have a friend-with-benefits that your partner knows about.
There's no script
Polyamory is a deeply fulfilling way of relating, with many benefits to the people in the relationships themselves, or to their other partners and even their children.
There’s no one right way to do any relationship, but there are plenty of wrong ways.
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